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TEA & TWO SLICES | On NIMBYs Whining, Rezoning Shaughnessy, And Cleaning Birds

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by Sean Orr | Our puritanical past future? Candidate for Burnaby mayor promises to ban kissing, holding hands in public. “Perhaps I don’t know what I’m talking about, but once I’m getting in I have to figure it out…” Sounds like she’s already a seasoned politician! Best comment: “Our Grandfathers fought for us to have this freedom…” Yes, our grandfathers fought the Nazis so we could hold hands. That was pretty much it.

Oh, and they also fought so our children could wear sexy Halloween costumes: ‘Sexy’ Halloween kids costumes at Value Village anger mom. Almost as disturbing are the weird, free market mantras littering the story’s comment section, a la “if parents didn’t buy these costumes they wouldn’t exist”.

Only 3% of Vancouver residents think they have reasonable rents or mortgages. We love Vancouver and are willing to pay through the nose to live here…er…we just don’t want to pay through the nose to live here…

Related: B.C. builds lots of housing. But you can’t afford any of it. “But how about rezoning Shaughnessy, where the average density is one-third that of Grandview-Woodlands?” Because Shaughnessy, that’s why.

I just worry that our Most City status will be affected: Vancouver ranked the most city in the world.

Never forget! This was actually the lede in one of our major daily newspapers: Heads up, guys: Those trendy man buns can cause the loss of your precious hair. Speaking of heads, that is the exact location I would prefer to be shot after reading that.

Related: Angry Yoga. “And discover the present moment, and don’t think about this town…”

And definitely don’t think about this: Vancouver residents speak out against homeless shelter. “Residents in the area say they’re going to fight what they see as a plan that transplants the Downtown Eastside to their neighbourhood”. We demand social mix in the DTES, but god forbid there be social mix in the rest of the city.

To borrow from Mark Twain: “Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you complained about homeless shelters; but I repeat myself.”

Obviously, other jurisdictions in the Lower Mainland need to step up: Surrey soup kitchen shut down on Thanksgiving. Yeah, because if you just stop feeding the homeless then homelessness will disappear.

Meanwhile, as Burnaby takes the National Energy Board to court, Kirk LaPointe wraps his lips around their, um, pipe: NPA pushes for LNG jobs in Vancouver. What jobs? Bird cleaners?

Meanwhile, Kinder Morgan questions how much B.C. First Nation still eats fish. Or, how much do you really enjoy that Starbucks latte, Terri-Lee? Because I’m about to take a dump in it…

The real drug pushers: Safeway, London Drugs and other pharmacy chains threaten legal action if cigarette sales banned.

The bubble has popped: Canucks say their sellout streak is over. One. Single. Tear.

The post TEA & TWO SLICES | On NIMBYs Whining, Rezoning Shaughnessy, And Cleaning Birds appeared first on Scout Magazine.


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